My fellow residents, to say that the last twelve months have been an interesting time for Decatur could be the mother of all understatements. In fact, a more appropriate description could probably be found in the landscape of a Salvador Dali painting. This past year has been surreal, weird, and unusual, things seem to be the same, only different. In other words, please refer to the aforementioned painting. This has been a difficult time for sure, and there are many problems to solve, but we cannot define ourselves based on a couple of days worth of observation from pointy headed journalists from Chicago, New York or even Springfield. After reading what shallow rubes we all are, I have determined that what so many of these pundits lack are any kind of long-term perspectives. I have 34 years worth of Decatur experience. Some of my fellow citizens have less, some have much more, but for sure we all have volumes compared to a writer for the New Yorker Magazine or a reporter from the Chicago Tribune.

First off, let's quell some rumors that if left festering could spiral out of control. As far as I can determine, Decatur had absolutely nothing to do with, responsibility for, or any blame for the following:

The sinking of the Russian nuclear sub, the Concorde crashing in France, the rioting between Israelis and Palestinians in the Middle East, the death of Princess Diana, Ralph Nader, the demise of one of the Two Fat Ladies, Three Mile Island, O.J. Simpson, World War I or II, the great Depression, the Challenger explosion, Jerry Lewis, the Gulf of Tonkin incident, new Coke, the Cuban missile crisis, Kathie Lee Gifford, Ted Kennedy's pants, Tonya Harding, the Jerry Springer show or that Elian kid that camped out in Florida for awhile.

I'm working on a Decatur acquittal pertaining to most of the great famines and plagues throughout the history of the world, but due to the exhaustive research this may take some time.

Now is the time for everyone to take a collective deep breath. Inhale, breathe out and relax. Don't you feel better already? Look at all the things that could have been our fault. Look at what we could have had to answer for. Just imagine looking into a CNN camera and taking responsibility for unleashing Jerry Lewis on the world. It gives one pause. Everyone together now…. Shudder.

Okay, now that we've put things into perspective, let's take a recap look at the things we have had to deal with over the last twelve months.

The expulsion of the Decatur Seven.
In a world of overblown and over the top news stories, this one has to take the cake. I guess when you have twenty four-hour cable news channels; it becomes difficult to fill all the airtime. Have you noticed that even Jesse Jackson would just as soon forget this entire silly episode? What is the upside to all of this? Many people of different races, religions and backgrounds in Decatur have come together to start honest dialogue amongst themselves. Maybe, just maybe that will encourage people to work together on the real issues that face our society. So I applaud all of the efforts - even if it does mean more focus groups.

The ADM books.
It constantly amazes me how much negative press and comments that Archer Daniels Midland receives. Yes, it is true that laws were broken and many mistakes were made. However, the people involved have paid the consequences and the company itself has paid both literally and figuratively for this scandal. I for one am proud that ADM resides in Decatur. Not only does this company command a presence in the worldwide arena of power; they give generously to the community and provide irreplaceable jobs and economic stability to the entire area. Once when I was complaining about something in my life that seemed very bad at the time, someone told me that a billion Chinese people neither knew nor cared about my embarrassment. Funny thing about ADM, those Chinese will care, but not about the scandal, but because ADM will be helping to feed their population. Besides, maybe they will film the movie version of "The Informant" here...wouldn't that be a hoot?

The Firestone Scandal.
I know it sounds naïve to suggest that we don't know all the facts about what went wrong with the tires manufactured here in Decatur that resulted in accidents and death. But it seems to me that eventually we will find that shoddy workmanship or bad management did not cause the accidents. I know it sounds simple but when an auto manufacturer messes with the tire pressure specifications in designing cars, they seem to be inviting disaster. I'm sure that the overwhelming majority of workers at the Decatur plant are just like those of other Firestone's facilities. Professionals that take great pride in their work. To be sure, there could be rough times ahead for this company, but they are strong and will rebound. I only hope that the people that have been laid off will return to their jobs soon and that Firestone will continue to be a viable player in the future of Decatur. Anybody up for a little tire shopping? We need to put our money where our mouth is and show this company and these workers our financial support. I can't think of a better way than buying Firestone tires.

There are other examples of Decatur's recent foibles that outsiders like to point to, but I think you get the drift. Listen folks, we will continue to solve our problems like every other city in the U.S. of A. so, relax, and enjoy all the wonderful and unique treasures of our great city. Things are not as bad as they seem. Serious? Yes. Impossible to overcome? No.

After all, it's not like the pinhead from the New Yorker Magazine has done anything to solve the vast problems that his great, but flawed city, faces. The reporters from the Chicago newspapers? I'll respect what they have to say when they are able to clean up that banana republic disguised as a city. As for Springfield, well, you don't even deserve a response. So, I for one am going to buy a few shares in ADM, purchase a brand new set of Firestone tires and continue to love this great city. I would love to have you join me. Who knows, I might even sign up for one of those focus groups that I enjoy railing on so much.

Brian Byers, a lifelong resident of Decatur, hosts Byers & Company weekday mornings from 6-9 am on NewsTalk 1340 WSOY. Brian can be reached by email at amproducer@wsoy.com or by calling 877-5371. Click here to visit the WSOY web site.

Illustration by Tronnie Goss

This article originally appeared in the December/January 2000 issue of Decatur Magazine.
It may not be reproduced or redistributed in whole or in part without the publisher's consent.
© Copyright 2000 Decatur Magazine - First String Productions. All rights reserved.

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