So let’s say just for fun that your brother Fredo’s coming to town. Only instead of sending him for a last fishing trip in a rowboat on Lake Decatur, you decide to show him a good time. Because he may be weak, and he may be stupid, but he’s still your brother. Even if he did try to have you whacked and you found out about it and told him so on New Year’s Eve in Cuba the night Castro overthrew the government. You haven’t seen him since, but now you want to reconcile. It’s what Mama Corleone would’ve wanted.

Besides, you’ve seen how you’re supposed to end up in Part III. It’s a disaster. Francis Ford Coppola and his precious artistic
license. You know for sure you don’t want to wind it down bitter and alone, either, like in Part II. No way. You are bent on reform.

How to show a sibling you can forgive and forget? How to offer him a good time in your new stomping grounds, where you’ve
relocated to consolidate ADM, CAT, and Tate & Lyle into one enormously profitable (and wholly legitimate) operation? What
entertainment could possibly compare with his home territory in Vegas?

Because of the ugly dinner incident, you recall that Fredo’s trophy wife enjoys overindulging in the fruit of the vine. Fredo also
likes to tip a few. It’s part of what makes him weak and stupid, which is what the Don knew a long time ago. Of course he knew.
He was Marlon Brando for the luvva Mike.

Luckily, you have Decatur Magazine. Past Progressive Diner reviews in hand, you hit every one of our favorite pubs and
mood-lit meeting spots. You never know when some brash young Turk might get out of line and you need to set up a dinner talk,
face-to-face.

Lock, Stock & Barrel
129 S. Oakland (429-7411)

When the feds close in, it’s always easy to slip out the back door. Plus there’s a perfect paper towel dispenser for hiding your
heat if Solozzo’s coming to supper. Varied and frequent live music acts. A variety of seasonal drafts on tap. Friendly ownership
and staff. Large-screen TVs. Specializes in high-quality pub grub, appetizers, and sandwiches. If Irish Tom Hagen just can’t wait
‘til dinner, have him try the Reuben with its nice soft bread.

Tuscany Steak & Pasta House
1099 W. Wood (429-7000)

You should feel right at home here, Michael. We recommend the Rat Pack Room for your private party. Let the car idle out front under the awning. Speak a little of the mother tongue with Benny B. Try the Veal — it’s the best in the city. Order the delicately nuanced Chicken Marsala, or any of the other excellent choices on this large, eclectic menu. There’s something for everyone here. Send Fredo’s wife to the bar, where she won’t find anything on draft but will peruse an excellent wine and hard liquor selection. Which should more than suffice. There’s nothing delicate or nuanced about her.

The Bourbon Barrel Bar & Grill
1355 N. Rt. 48 (429-7506)

A guy has to love a place that tells it like it is. BBB&G advertises as a neighborhood bar with two big things going for it: “Good Food. Cold Beer.” Fair enough. We recommend this more relaxed atmosphere for winding down after dinner. We also recommend the house specialties, in case the boys guarding the car are hungry. One pork tenderloin apiece and they’ll be loyal forever. Plus, Fredo has a penchant for playing the ponies. Here there are all sorts of (legal) gambling-type games to keep his wandering attention occupied. Mainly domestics and the hard stuff.

The Winery
1093 W. Main (422-7718)

The most mood-lit of mood-lighting. Especially after dark. And the late-night Winery Burger is a legendary example of local color. You don’t go here to rub high-society elbows. But you can play great tunes on the juke and are guaranteed not to run into any senators looking for favors. Mainly domestic drafts and bottles and, in some cases, cans. Also well drinks.

For maximum enjoyment, we recommend this agenda:

A. Appetizers and a live jazz combo on the patio at LSB (instruct Luca Brasi that he is not to eat the live jazz combo) 5 to 6 p.m.
B. A slow, hearty meal at Tuscany to settle your brother’s nervous stomach 6:15 to 8 p.m.
C. Downtime at The Bourbon Barrel (drive) 8:15 to 11 p.m.
D. Return to Millikinville – hit The Winery for midnight snacking and brotherly bonding at the pool tables, but be sure Fredo doesn’t run his mouth to the locals (drive) 11:15 to 2 a.m.

Leave The Driving To Them . . .
If you don’t want to count your servings of Chianti at dinner, check your worries at the door. Three of these four destinations are within easy strolling distance of one another. However, the Bourbon Barrel is not.

Since you need a chauffeur you can trust, you might want to call Baldwin Shuttle and reserve one of their 15-passenger vans. Bodyguards need their elbow room, after all. To be sure everybody gets home safe, they’ll pick you up, drop you off, wait for you, not wait for you, whatever – no questions asked.

In the past they’ve accommodated bachelor parties and wedding groups, and they will be pleased to accommodate you as well. Call 422-5906 or visit www.baldwinshuttle.com for details.

Regular Contributor Zachary Shields bet a buddy he could write an entire column based on any film of his friend’s choice and get away with it scot-free. Mr. Shields wins. Their wager was a DVD boxed set of The Godfather trilogy.